Do you ever catch yourself saying something that doesn’t sound like you at all? Do you ever see yourself from the outside as if you’re a different person.
For the last little while I’ve been trying to get Starbucks to get my cappuccino right. I like my cappuccinos very dry. First I asked for a dry cap and it wasn’t dry enough. Then i tried extra-dry. Still not dry enough. My next attempt was super-dry. It was close but still not dry enough. Finally I found the word that properly expresses just how dry I like my cappuccino: bone-dry.
But as I was stepping out of the door and I took a sip of my drink I heard myself utter the following words: “Shit! He scorched my foam!” and the epiphany happened all at once. I am becoming Niles Crane.To be fair, my mind was primed for this realization. Just last week Duncan and I were talking about which of us would play which Crane brother if our life was the inspiration for a sitcom. However, the similarities chill my dry bones. In the first season of Frasier, Niles famously ordered “a double decaf, non-fat latte, medium-bold, dusted with just the faintest whisper of cinnamon.” only to complain, upon the arrival of his coffee: “I very clearly asked for a whisper of cinnamon and he’s given me a full-throated shout!”
I’ll begin shopping for tweedy wide lapeled suits and fat silk ties in the morning.
Well, how about it? Have any of you readers ever caught something coming out of your mouth that made you think of someone with whom you never identified?