So apparently another batch of pedestrians was killed in Toronto prompting the police to stand on street corners handing out $35 tickets when people cross the street on the blinking orange hand.  All this reminds me of my beloved Darwin Awards.

If you’ve not heard of the Darwin Awards, they “commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.” In other words, they celebrate the fact that the world has a built-in mechanism for punishing stupidity and weeding out the idiots like the South Korean wheelchair-bound man who was so impatient that he rammed through an elevator door only to fall down an elevator shaft to his death.  The awards honour the cosmic justice that kills the stupid and allows the smart to carry on.

Don’t get me wrong, I jaywalk all the time.  The most frustrating part for me is when I’m playing a sophisticated, well thought out game of life-sized frogger, I’m half way through the level, and the car on the far side slows down leaving me stranded in oncoming traffic.  If he drove fast, I could cross, If he stopped I could cross.  Slowing down and creeping past is the only thing thing he could do that will get me killed.

As for the morons who jump in front of fast moving vehicles, isn’t the risk of getting killed enough of an deterrant?  Should we all be punished to train idiots not to be idiotic?  I just learned in an article that if the clock is counting down and you step into the street you can be ticketed!  What is the countdown for if not to allow people to decide whether or not they can cross safely in time?  If the clock is at 10 and I can make it in 6 then why should I have to wait? In essence, what the police have decided is that to stop the universe from punishing stupidity harshly, we’re going to have harsher punishments for stupidity, stupid by definition.

Teach drivers to drive better, teach pedestrians to walk smarter, and let the morons who can’t figure it out perish.  I’ll bet the stupid pedestrian gene will be bred out of Toronto’s population in a few short generations.

And lawmakers, If you don’t like pedestrians being hit by cars, stop punishing pedestrians.  Lower speed limits in the city and punish people who talk on their phones and do their makeup while driving.  Pedestrians have a lot more to lose in a battle against cars, trucks, busses and streetcars so they at least deserve the benefit of the doubt.

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